Monday, December 28, 2015

Jurassic World Mosasaurus vs Submarine

JW Mosasaurus vs Submarine

This is one of the most awaited sets from the Jurassic World line along with the Big Bad Indominus, and the Stomp and Strike T.rex, oh and the growler raptors, of course. But is it everything you want it to be? Maybe, maybe not. It's up to you.

I'm not saying it's a bad toy. It's really fun to play with, but I don't know if y'all are seeing a theme here. Ugly dinosaurs, cool but cheap toys. Mosasaurus is related to Komodo dragons and monitor lizards. This looks like a weird...uh...I don't know. You had to buy it if you saw one when it came out. They became easier to find for the holidays.

And there it is. It's nothing special. The pose is kind of cool, and yeah I love how the tail curves sideways like that. If anything it looks like a mosasaur is crawling up land to lay eggs...or something. So it's got some cool little value there. As we all know, mosasaurs don't have those iguana spikes on the back of their tails...or maybe they did. Monitor lizards and their kin (squamata) regularly do not, but the JW Mosasaur does.

This is my biggest problem! Pull the right front flipper back and it opens and snaps the jaw, much like Indominus rex from the vs set. However, the feature is extremely clunky, it screeches of broken internal mechanics, and it's hard to do! I have had 2 others pass by my hands, and one was seamless, and another one was just as hard. I think they feel cheap, and I am afraid of breaking it. As you can see, it can open the jaws at a pretty wide angle, but not through use of the action feature. It feels kind of like a clip. It's sure enough wide enough to chomp through anything! Too bad it looks hideous. The tail goes up and down while you do this, but it does not work as well as it should...

Like the other "hurt me but I'll be fine" line of abused dinosaurs, this one has the same JW innovative Dino Damage method the others do. Why anyone would go underwater to bite a huge chunk out of Moasaurus is unclear, but you have the option, should you feel brave enough to cross her.

Correction. Both front flippers control the opening jaw bit. The two back flippers are independent and you can pose it as if she were running through the dunes!

Can we talk about the Submarine and how awesome it is?! It's got tons of moving parts! The little soldier sucks, like all the other figures, but oh well.

The sub's claws open up and close. It raises the arms up. The cabin collapses if Mosasaurus attacks it! The cannon rotates all across and shoots an extremely powerful long range net missile. Boy is this launcher strong! Holy smokes! It's pretty cool! I love it! It's my favorite JW vs vehicle! Too bad it's for tiny figures...

And there you go. That's the Jurassic World Mosasaurus for ya. Take it or leave it. I've seen a re-release with darker paint. So this means there are two variants. Instead of a white belly it has a bluer, greyer belly, but I'm not sure...I might go to the store again to see if it's the lighting or my eyes that were fooled. Naturally, there is the alternative..."Mexican Mosasaurus": A bootleg reproduction that is as long as The Big Bad Indominus rex, with every aspect of the movie's Mosasaurus, with electronics. This animal disappointed so many because Mosasaurus is one of the "Three Big Carnivores" on Jurassic World, and many feel it deserved a better toy. But this is a fun toy, fun for the tub, and it'll bring hours of imaginative play to your kid's life. I highly recommend it, I just think the Mosasaurus is ugly. It's the paleo-jerk in me, obviously, but I give the set AS A TOY an A.

Indominus takedown!

Friday, December 25, 2015

Jurassic World Pteranodon vs. Helicopter

Jw Pteranodon v Helicopter

Before I start this review, I want to say a few things. If you've been following my reviews, you know I was not enthusiastic about this line from the beginning. Molds were terrible, these things don't look like dinosaurs or prehistoric animals. I know it was wrong of me to expect a return to the Kenner era, or even the JPIII era. I'm sorry, but the Hasbro 2001 Jurassic Park III Pteranodon, both of them, are masterpieces compared to the absolute piece of... what I'm about to post pictures of. I only bought it because I am a sick completist who has to have everything. REGARDLESS, this is a fun toy for kids.

Well, there you have it. A toothy Pteranodon that attacks a weird collapsible helicopter with a huge missile. This is a pretty fun toy if you just imagine this entire thing to be a monster movie...which it is. But c'mon Hasbro, we deserve better. See, my problem is not with the helicopter. If anything the helicopter in this set is what saves this debacle.

Looks fun, if only my paleo head would quit saying "That's not a Pteranodon...IT'S A LUDODACTYLUS!" So I'm going to pretend this is Ludodactylus from now on. It's basically a Pteranodon with teeth. Cool animal, look it up.

"So uncivilized". Technically you're supposed to shoot it on the chest, which will reveal the dino damage. It's not as easy to open as Indominus rex', but I like the innovative close and push dino wound design. At least this thing isn't wounded forever!

I honestly don't think anyone knows how to make a Pteranodon properly. The colors are nice though, so I give them props for that.

Ah yes! The helicopter! It features a 2 point articulation dude that fits inside. It's armed with a dangerous missile that almost shot my eye out, and it collapses when you press the uh...things on top down. Woo!

"Look alive boys! Look alive!"

They could have included Masrani, just tossing in a Dylan from Transformers, but with a darker skin tone. But no. Why didn't they make human characters for this line? That's the biggest c*cktease of all time. Worse than when Star Wars didn't release every alien, except they did! How are Star Wars Cantina Aliens more important than the main human characters in Jurassic World? Take a hint, Hasbro!

Whatever, they look cool together, if you pretend they're genetically modified dragons who spit fire, too. Shoulda had them shoot some red missile like Dilophosaurus.

This Pteranodon is truly the stuff of nightmares.

These are really fun for kids, even for long time collectors like me. But they're junk at the same time. That's what toys are supposed to be...anyways. Good night! And Merry Christmas.

Jurassic World Growlers Dimorphodon

JW Growler Dimorphodon

Well, um... Uh... This is not what a Dimorphodon looks like. In fact, I have no idea what this is.

The only good thing I can say about this is the nice colors. But it doesn't look like the Dimorphodon on the doesn't look like anything.

I'm not saying it's not cool. It's cool if you pretend it's a dragon, but this is not a Dimorphodon. Pressing the legs together causes the jaw to open and the wings to flap, and it makes a flapping sound. The jaws are constantly open anyways, so...

Pressing the button makes the back light up.

It is what it is. As of the time of this writing, I haven't seen any anywhere. In fact, when I purchased this during the Summer, I did so because they were hard to find.

Don't get me wrong, it's a fun toy for kids! But I like to pretend it's a genetically modified monster made by In...Gen...oh wait, that sums up Jurassic Park/World, right? In case you were wondering this is was a Dimorphodon looks like.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Jurassic World Growlers Dilophosaurus

JW Growlers Dilophosaurus!

Dilophosaurus is my favorite dinosaur, so naturally I have a bias. Thankfully, this is also my favorite Jurassic World dinosaur figure. It has flaws, but by the JW standards Hasbro has forced us to comply, it is their masterpiece.

This is by far my favorite Jurassic World mold. The proportions are correct with what we know about Dilophosaurus. The frills are silly, but you can't have a Jurassic Park Dilophosaurus without the frills. It's also the best TOY in the entire line!

Now, the frill looks nice, but it...flops around. They're attached to hinges attached to the sides of the head's base, so it's cool but kind of idiotic as it looks like a dino with large ears. Who knows, maybe this hybrid actually uses these for ears instead of scaring and hypnotizing its prey. But remove the frill and the proportions are correct.

See how bloody annoying they are? Hold the animal down and this is what it looks like. Ugh. Whatever. That's probably my biggest problem with this toy. Oh, and the color. It' a piece of chewing gum, honestly. I see it and I wanna chew it. Moving on...

The action feature involves pushing its tail down, which lowers its neck and shoots out a missile meant to look like poison. This is REALLY cool, because it triggers a movie accurate ...RRRAAAAARRR sound with the later ending of the venom hitting Really, take your headphones and go on Youtube to hear the RAAARR and SPIT. Same file. Super mega awesome. Pressing the side will cause the ribs to light up and to "squeal" like it does when it meets Nedry. It's cute, and it's especially cute when you got several of them!

Ok, so you hate Hasbro and hate Jurassic World's toys and hate...everything. BUY this dinosaur. It's EXTREMELY recommended. It's an amazing, fun toy that is accurate to both movie and real like Dilophosaurus. If only we could take down that frill... And the hands are not pronated. Is it just me or is this dino even more accurate than the others? Ceratosaurus' hands aren't pronated either. That's what makes this dino special. He could have just been one of Stan Winston's kangaroo Dilophosaurus with the pronated hands. Nope! This fact makes this figure a winner and my top pick for Jurassic World toys. If you see it, grab it.

Here it is with the Chomper...same colors...Chomper to be reviewed later.

Here it is with all the other Dilophosaurs EXCEPT the Jurassic Park III Dilophosaurus and its repaint, which are just hideous and have no proper center line. But why stop here? I had a friend of mine by last name Slaughter to take two of these and...repaint them!

I had Slaughter do my JW Dilophosaurs into Jurassic Park color schemes AND Crichton's yellow and grey color schemes with cut off frill parts. These two really put Hasbro's colors to shame.

Amazing work by an amazing artist. If Kenner did a beautifully painted Dilophosaurus, why couldn't Hasbro?

Wow. I have no words. I really have no words. Thanks to Slaughter! Amazing artist, and thanks to Hasbro for creating this amazing mold. It's really the best effort, and I hope y'all can get your hands on this excellent toy. It's...whoever commissioned this piece is a Dilophosaurus fanboy and therefore someone I respect. Again, if you hate the line, just get this and the Ceratosaurus for your Jurassic Park collection.