Friday, December 25, 2015

Jurassic World Pteranodon vs. Helicopter

Jw Pteranodon v Helicopter

Before I start this review, I want to say a few things. If you've been following my reviews, you know I was not enthusiastic about this line from the beginning. Molds were terrible, these things don't look like dinosaurs or prehistoric animals. I know it was wrong of me to expect a return to the Kenner era, or even the JPIII era. I'm sorry, but the Hasbro 2001 Jurassic Park III Pteranodon, both of them, are masterpieces compared to the absolute piece of... what I'm about to post pictures of. I only bought it because I am a sick completist who has to have everything. REGARDLESS, this is a fun toy for kids.

Well, there you have it. A toothy Pteranodon that attacks a weird collapsible helicopter with a huge missile. This is a pretty fun toy if you just imagine this entire thing to be a monster movie...which it is. But c'mon Hasbro, we deserve better. See, my problem is not with the helicopter. If anything the helicopter in this set is what saves this debacle.

Looks fun, if only my paleo head would quit saying "That's not a Pteranodon...IT'S A LUDODACTYLUS!" So I'm going to pretend this is Ludodactylus from now on. It's basically a Pteranodon with teeth. Cool animal, look it up.

"So uncivilized". Technically you're supposed to shoot it on the chest, which will reveal the dino damage. It's not as easy to open as Indominus rex', but I like the innovative close and push dino wound design. At least this thing isn't wounded forever!

I honestly don't think anyone knows how to make a Pteranodon properly. The colors are nice though, so I give them props for that.

Ah yes! The helicopter! It features a 2 point articulation dude that fits inside. It's armed with a dangerous missile that almost shot my eye out, and it collapses when you press the uh...things on top down. Woo!

"Look alive boys! Look alive!"

They could have included Masrani, just tossing in a Dylan from Transformers, but with a darker skin tone. But no. Why didn't they make human characters for this line? That's the biggest c*cktease of all time. Worse than when Star Wars didn't release every alien, except they did! How are Star Wars Cantina Aliens more important than the main human characters in Jurassic World? Take a hint, Hasbro!

Whatever, they look cool together, if you pretend they're genetically modified dragons who spit fire, too. Shoulda had them shoot some red missile like Dilophosaurus.

This Pteranodon is truly the stuff of nightmares.

These are really fun for kids, even for long time collectors like me. But they're junk at the same time. That's what toys are supposed to be...anyways. Good night! And Merry Christmas.

Jurassic World Growlers Dimorphodon

JW Growler Dimorphodon

Well, um... Uh... This is not what a Dimorphodon looks like. In fact, I have no idea what this is.

The only good thing I can say about this is the nice colors. But it doesn't look like the Dimorphodon on the doesn't look like anything.

I'm not saying it's not cool. It's cool if you pretend it's a dragon, but this is not a Dimorphodon. Pressing the legs together causes the jaw to open and the wings to flap, and it makes a flapping sound. The jaws are constantly open anyways, so...

Pressing the button makes the back light up.

It is what it is. As of the time of this writing, I haven't seen any anywhere. In fact, when I purchased this during the Summer, I did so because they were hard to find.

Don't get me wrong, it's a fun toy for kids! But I like to pretend it's a genetically modified monster made by In...Gen...oh wait, that sums up Jurassic Park/World, right? In case you were wondering this is was a Dimorphodon looks like.